Confession

Confession; it's not a popular concept, and it's definitely not a popular practice. When I hear the word my typical reaction is to get all tense and defensive and start scrambling for excuses and justifications. Over the last decade though, I've learned a lot about confession; I've confessed to God, to my friends and mentors, to my wife, to my son, to my employer; I've listened to the confessions of my friends, mentors and wife; and I've tried to understand confession in the context of God's word.

The Bible has a lot to say about confession. A couple different kinds are addressed; the confession of Jesus as the Christ and the son of God, and the confession of our sins to God and to one another. Just to make it clear, I'm writing about the confession of our sins here.

I think the first idea I needed to understand was that our sin hinders our relationship with God. In Isaiah 59 the prophet writes:

Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.

And the apostle Peter tells us:

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect ... , so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

These passages show us one of the fundamental truths of our relationship with God. Our sin separates us from him and deserves his judgment. This is where confession comes in. A writer in Proverbs tells us:

He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

This seems to be the heart of confession throughout scripture. Our sin is not meant to be hidden, not from God, and not from our brothers or sisters. Mercy, forgiveness, healing and restoration are found through admission of guilt. In Psalm 32, David writes passionately about the anguish he experienced while concealing his sin and the transformation that occurred when he revealed it:

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD "— and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah

Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!

I think we can learn a few different things from what David tells us in this psalm.

The first is that complete forgiveness requires cooperation from both the offended and the offender. How can you accept forgiveness if you have not first acknowledged your need to be forgiven?

The second is that trust and confession are inseparable. When we confess our sins we make ourselves vulnerable, and unless there is a relationship of trust between the sinner and the confessor, a confession cannot be made willingly. David urges us to trust in the Lord and tells us that the result will be immersion in his unfailing love. God's response to our sin is judgment, but his response to our confession of that sin is forgiveness, protection and security in his love. Because of this we know we can trust God with our sin. A passage from Proverbs reiterates this:

He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.

Finally, the whole psalm is a plea from David to us: Don't try to hide your sin from God, hide yourself in him. Don't resist God's discipline, confess your sin and enter his blessing.

In John's first letter he tells us:

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

Strong words. I think there is a tendency within our Christian culture to leave confession behind at conversion. We in insist that new believers acknowledge themselves as sinners and Jesus as Christ and Lord, but then what? I've seen broken people trying to portray themselves as whole, a lot of people who once trusted Christ with their sins trying to deal with them on their own.

Jesus took care of our sins past, present and future once and for all, we are forever forgiven. But we must continue to accept that forgiveness through confession and repentance. God is light, and the sins of those in a relationship with him are exposed by that light. The only way to keep our sins hidden is to remove ourselves from the light and break the relationship.

In another intriguing passage that touches on confession, James writes:

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

There's a lot in there. Trouble, happiness, sickness, sin, prayer. I'm interested in the sin part here. If I'm interpreting the text correctly this passage tells us that we should confess our sins to each other and pray for each other so that we will be healed because our sins have been forgiven.

There are a couple different contexts in which we need to confess our sins to each other.The first context is the confession and repentance of a sinner to the one he has sinned against. This context also includes our confession to God, since all sin is against him. The second context is the confession of a sinner to others who have not been hurt by the sin.

In the first context the purpose of confession and repentance is the restoration or healing of the relationship. With God this is purpose is always realized, but when we confess an offense and repent of it to the one we've offended, sometimes we're met with rejection instead of forgiveness. In this case God will still protect us and surround us with his love even though our vulnerability with the other person has been turned down or even used to wound us.

In the second context the purpose of confession is our own healing. We need the accountability and prayer of others as we pursue holiness. Our sin can be deeply entrenched in our lives and the healing can be painful. The intervention of our brothers or sisters in the process is crucial.

In my own life and in the lives of my friends I've seen the results of hiding sin . David's words about wasting away and sapped strength come to life. We are crippled by our secrets, and Satan gains a foothold. Sin is most powerful when it is concealed.

If we don't step into the light on our own God will eventually expose us. Our sin will find us out. Depending on the sin revealed the consequences can be anything from embarrassment to divorce, from temporary rejection to a permanently scarred relationship. It hurts to be sinned against, but it hurts so much worse to find out that you have been sinned against and deceived.

It is always better to confess and repent now than to deceive ourselves and others and be found out later. Confession and repentance are painful, but we cannot take care of our sin by ourselves.

I've also seen the results of confession and repentance. The power of some of the sin in my life has been broken by opening it up to the ears and prayers of my brothers or my wife. The record of my sins is an open book to God, my wife and several of my brothers. I have no secrets that are mine alone, I am free. Confession and forgiveness have breathed intimacy and depth into my relationship with my wife that would never have been possible had I concealed my sin. There's no question that our relationship has been damaged by that sin, but confession starts a healing process that would otherwise never happen.

In conclusion, we sin. If I understand the gospel correctly then I know we will until the day we die. We will sin against God, against our wives, against our children, and against a lot of other people too. That's a problem, but trying to deal with that sin on our own by keeping it secret is the furthest thing from the solution. God's solution is confession and repentance; to him, to those we've sinned against, and to those who will hold us accountable in our pursuit of holiness.